Just as Money is the most common word used in public and then in private so also is the word Love, I guess it is the most common word used in private and then in public. Every love expressed has a foundation which may either be inherent or derived or both; love has never stood on its own without a reason and much has been said about love which are not true. Love is like life, only very few can share it or give it to others absolutely.
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There are 3 things that sustain every marriage and love is never one
of them, these 3 things are Money, Sex and Kids; these 3 are each of the foundations upon which love can be erected as buttressed below.
This is at the peak of it all, without money it is impossible to please man. This is one thing that love can actually anchor on quickly, you do not need to talk too much before love establishes its root in money and in most cases this happens in a subtle manner that escapes easy discerning.
When I say money I do not mean physical cash only but including all those ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things that comes with money; ranging from the makeup you applied, to the lovely perfume you are wearing, to the car you are driving, to the clothing you have on, to the comfort of your home, the investments you have, to the job you are doing, the confidence you exude, down to the cash you dole out; all these are forces of attraction and subjection that gives love the excellent conditions it require for it to grow beautifully and on the long run the absence of that could also crumble love in such an unimaginable and shameful way.
After money it is sex that is next in the rating. Sex is like an expression of commitment to a union and it is the singular factor that causes marriage to be consummated in the religious circle and social circle alike. That is one reason why in the Catholic church, it is not permitted for reverend fathers and sisters to marry because marriage is for sex and cannot be without it otherwise they would have been allowed to marry for companionship.
However small the level of financial comfort in any relationship, sex can augment to close the little critical gap in it if it is appreciated by the two parties in the relationship. There are marriages everywhere which are bonded with sex even with little financial comfort and no love at all. Where there is low financial comfort with too much disparity in sexual activeness between both parties, this could lead to infidelity and breakup of the union. Breakup might not be the case where there is high financial comfort; the offended partner might tend to want to or not to cheat but will hang on in the relationship and avoid breakup.
This is one very important factor that sustains marriages in some cultures. Marriages are kept together because kids have become part of the family and the kids need to be nurtured and cared for by both parents. Not much sex is required to get pro-creatively healthy partners to make offspring regardless of how sexually active they both are. The love for the kids by both partners here is inherent and this envelopes the union and keep it going for the good of the union.
There is hope that one day the kids will become adults and they will make the parents proud but there are cases where breakup occurs because there is too low financial comfort coupled with lack of sexual satisfaction and consequently lack of love thereof; having exhausted the initial lust for each other so to speak. This is painful for kids in some cases where both parents separate after having just one kid as young partners and subsequently getting married to other persons leaving the kid in a very difficult situation.
Categories: Marriage, Opinion